It’s a rather grey, cloudy day here in New Hampshire. I can see some bright blue sky peeking through here and there, but for the most part everything feels soft and drowsy. I don’t entirely mind – I’ve got a cup of hot Earl Grey, I’m listening to some quiet jazz, and I’m pondering where to go next with my projects. I’m slowly putting my 100 Day Project together into a book for myself, I’m getting back to illustrations for Chamomile Lavender, and I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my journal comics.
I think I’m finally coming to grips with the reality that my freelancing dreams may be a while off yet. I definitely have my days where that fact frustrates me to no end, but recently I’ve found some amount of patience, which is nice. I don’t know where it came from, but I’m glad it’s here. Now I can focus on my small projects and not feel like I have to complete them all perfectly in one go! I’m okay with taking the time to do these projects well so that I have portfolio pieces available when I’m ready to put myself out there and when Aiden and I are ready to take that financial leap of faith.
I’ve also been trying to put more focus on Aiden and what he needs. I’ve been wrapped up in my own anxieties and insecurities for so, so many years that I had very little ability to see that other people had needs, too. I feel like I’m getting to a better place (I’m going to see a counselor as well! I’m so excited!) at long last, and I want to be there to support Aiden like he has supported me. As he expressed in his last blog post, he’s going through some pretty significant soul-searching, and it’s not an easy process. I want to do whatever I can to make that process easier on him. We’re a team, and sometimes that means we tag-team when one of us is getting tired. I’ll gladly carry the baton whenever he needs me to so that he can get some rest. Oddly topical, since he’s actually literally home sick today, the poor dear!
So, in order to better support him, I’m going to try to do a few things more consistently:
- Post blog updates! I’ve been ghosting here for far too long, and I DID promise to update y’all with 100 Day posts…which I did not do…so I’ll be posting them here in sets of five at a time. I hope you enjoy!
- Put dishes away for him. He enjoys doing the dishes, which I hate (haaate), so I want to help out by putting my awesome organizer skills to work!
- Make space for him to have quiet time. Aiden processes things internally before he can share them verbally (I’m the exact opposite), and I want to give him space to think, to meditate, and to read.
- Carve out time to talk about our story and to record our podcast! I often get caught up in the whirlwind of other things I’m doing, and I let things slip through the cracks. I have it in my head that if Aiden wants to talk about something, he’ll come to me to talk about it, but the problem is that he has that in his head as well, and he won’t bring it up because he doesn’t want to overload me. This story and this podcast are important to both of us, but more so to him because they are the first stories he wrote and completed. I want to support his creative endeavors as he supports mine and be an active partner in these projects!
- Brew lots of tea. Aiden and I both really love tea, and we haven’t been drinking enough of it. It would be lovely to just stop whatever we’re doing, sit down on the couch with a hot cup of tea and maybe a cookie or two, and just enjoy being together.
Aiden has been with me through thick and thin, and he has never ceased encouraging me in whatever I pursue. He’s so full of love and kindness, and I want to do more to reflect those things back to him. He’s my husby, yes, but he’s also my best friend.