Hello dear readers, Katie here.
Have you heard of the 100 Day Project? It’s a fantastic project sort of like National Novel Writing Month, but for artists and creative-types, and over the course of 100 days starting in April instead of just the one month of November. I decided today that I want to participate, despite the fact that it begins…tomorrow. Which I only found out today. So. I want to tell you about my decision, and it requires a bit of context.
I don’t know what it was about March, but it was an awful month for me emotionally. I was just in a bad mental state for most of it. I was irritable and frustrated, I was angry and biting with my words, and I was just sad. It was not a great place to be in, and I’m sure it wasn’t great for the folks around me – I salute Aiden every time he patiently helps me work through my various anxieties and panics and moments of anger.
April feels like a breath of fresh air. Even though it was cloudy yesterday, rainy today, and will continue to be rainy tomorrow, I feel lighter, somehow. I don’t know why I feel this way, but instead of questioning it I want to embrace it wholly. I decided to try doing the 100 Day Project because I want to make a change in myself. I’m notoriously bad at sticking to schedules, and hopefully this challenge will help me stick to something.
The theme I’ve decided on is therapeutic, cartoonish self-portraits. Each day I’m either going to celebrate how great I’m feeling by having drawing-me expressing what I’m excited about, or I’m going to combat whatever shitty headspace I’m in by having drawing-me doing the opposite of the lies my bad brain chemistry creates. So for example, if I’m feeling like a failure, I’ll draw myself crossing a finish line. If I’m experiencing a lot of negative self-talk, I’ll draw myself giving the viewer (me) a loving pep talk. I want to have a record of my mental state, showing off the great days and highlighting how I fight through the bad days.
This is going to be pretty hard for me, partly because of the whole sticking-to-a-thing-for-once bit, but partly because I have a really hard time drawing myself. I’ve got what I consider to be a weird body shape, and I don’t know how to strike that balance of drawing myself in a flattering way and being honest about what I look like. At times, the struggle has brought me down surprisingly low. I’m both excited and nervous about the challenge of drawing something aggressively positive (or “Furiously Happy”, as Jenny Lawson would say) and having the subject matter be myself for once. I mean, I love drawing adorable unicorns to get myself out of a funk as much as the next person, but…I’d like to be able to imagine myself being happy as much as I can imagine my deceased cat riding a fat unicorn that’s farting rainbows.
That’s about all I have for you folks today. I’m going to bite the bullet and say that I’m going to update you all with every drawing I do for the 100 Day Project. I’m nervous because of the possibility of failure to stick to that, but as the good folks of the 100 Day Project say on their website: “It’s okay if you miss a day! Keep going.”
So that’s what I’m going to do.
Thanks for reading,